With the baby boomers, the taboo of senior sexuality may quickly be raised.
The sexuality of septuagenarians, octogenarians and beyond is still an effective societal taboo but things could change quickly. “Sexual flexibility is a strong marker of the baby-boom generation,” mentions Michèle Delaunay, oncologist, politician and author of a book released last month (Le fabuleux destin des baby-boomers, Plon editions). “Arrived in age, boomers will not relinquish this freedom in any area, especially in that of sexuality and the right to personal privacy,” composes the author. We have actually been cautioned!
Understanding that there are today 13.1 million people aged 65 or over in France (i.e. two times as numerous as in 1970), and that the percentage of those over 75 will continue to increase, it It is time to admit that our long-stay organizations have a severe modification to achieve. Architectural initially, to much better preserve the personal privacy of their locals, and then cultural, to admit, lastly, that they really have a right to a personal life. This is far from holding true everywhere, even if the groups and directors of facilities are now aware of it.
Right to love
“O aging, if youth understood that we attempted to challenge a fundamental best recognized to every person and the only solution versus death: the right to love, the right to enjoy and to be loved in all senses of the word. This basic liberty is lawfully verified by various texts “, recalled in 2014, Abdessetar Ben Abdallah, then lawyer-trainer within the regional association institute of development in social work (ARIFTS-SAFRANTS) in a collective work entitled Amours de vieuxse (Ed. Press of the School of Advanced Studies in Public Health), the outcome of a reflection and conversation project of the exact same name at the initiative of the Mutualité Française Bretagne.
” In establishments for reliant elderly people, love are formed and take their course: there is no age limit to be in love and fully live a psychological, nostalgic and intimate relationship. Love stories among the elderly are regular, insolent, incorrect … “, says Frédérique Burban, director of the mutualist EHPAD Les Couleurs du Temps in Hennebont in the very same book. “There is no age limit to the love, sexual and desiring life, even if from a certain age it is concealed”, verifies the psychologist and psychotherapist Marie de Hennezel, in her book Sex & Sixty (Ed. Robert Laffont/ Versilio, 2015).
Imagine yourself at an innovative age
Undoubtedly, thinking about that the love of older individuals can have a sexual measurement is difficult. You need to have actually reevaluated your representations of senior sexuality (frequently asexuality in this case!), For example by imagining yourself at the exact same age. Because studies on the sexuality of octogenarians validate it: the pursuit of sexuality is now a reality.
” Everyone reacts differently depending upon their origins, their experience, their relationship with the elderly,” stresses Frédérique Burban. However typically we are judgmental, we impose rules, we do not comprehend or accept the desire and freedom of the other. ”
For now, the environment is not yet boring. In a study of 29 citizens of long-stay facilities in French-speaking Switzerland, scientists from the “Age, aging and end of life” network, observed that for these octogenarians “in basic, sexual (genital) life is very little present. For lots of, even as a couple, it slowly picked up some time. ”
For this generation, the authors discuss the end of relational sexuality by the very strong link in this generation between sexuality and conjugality. According to them, a double fidelity explains the prevalent sexual inactivity: “fidelity to the deceased spouse and fidelity to what is considered appropriate for the elderly.”
The whole concern is to understand what will be the definition of “appropriate” for the boomers of the “Sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll” generation of Michèle Delaunay, who highlights from among the chapters of her book, this motto of May 68: “Our desires make disorder”.